Exploring 7 Vicious Emotions that Eat Away a Woman’s Soul.
READ TIME: 10 MINS
Exploring 7 viscous emotions that eat away a woman’s soul.
A Brief Tale on the Outcome of a Broken Soul.
Once there lived a young woman called Emily. She was a kind, loving and vibrant soul. Emily had a radiant smile that often melted the hearts of those around her. She was an optimistic woman, passionate about the future, as well as experiencing a fulfilling love life. Emily felt truly happy and whole within her soul.
But then she met a young man named Charles, who promised her reciprocated love, kindness, and faithfulness. At first, Emily believed she had found her soul mate. However, as time unfolded, she saw his true character unmasked. Charles proved to be a deceitful, selfish, and abusive man. He often belittled and exploited Emily, shattering her trust and spirit.
Charles's cruelty towards Emily left deep scars on Emily’s soul. She was intensely enraged and resentful towards him, but even more so towards herself for falling for his lies.
One sunny morning, Emily decided she had enough of his garbage. She had finally gained the strength to leave the toxic relationship once and for all; and despite the excruciating pain she continued to feel after leaving Charles, Emily clung to hope, believing that she would find healing and become happy again one day.
Sadly, that day never arrived. Each time Emily remembered her abusive past, the weight of her pain became unbearable, and her sense of identity and self-worth gradually eroded. Eventually, Emily succumbed to the darkness. She lost hope in the brighter days she once envisioned; and heartbrokenly, gave in to suicide.
Unhealed wounds create unpleasant emotions, and unpleasant emotions steal our joy, and sometimes our entire life.
This tale is just one of the many heartbreaking real-life stories of women who have given in to their traumas, allowing the wrongs that someone has done to them, or the wrongs they believe they have done to themselves, to steal their joy and feminine radiance.
By drawing from the wisdom and healing power of God, reflecting on my own stories of wounds, and observing the emotional and mental consequences in the lives of other women who have succumbed to their pains, I’ve come to recognize the seven vicious emotions that erode a woman’s soul, causing her to feel hopeless and distraught. These are:
envy, resentment, depression, guilt, anxiety, insecurities, and loneliness.
I believe all women, including myself, have struggled with one or a few of these emotions at some point in their lives. My question is, which one(s) are you currently suffering from?
Which wounds are you allowing to steal your joy, peace, and feminine radiance?
Maybe your situation doesn’t turn out as extreme as ending your life like Emily (oh, I hope not), but whatever you’re going through, whether big or small, that’s causing you to become bitter matters.
In today’s article, I’m briefly sharing these seven soul-crushing emotions and how surrendering to them has ruined the radiance, softness, and joy in the lives of many modern women.
Also, I’m currently crafting a workbook that focuses on critical steps a woman can take to heal from past wounds and reclaim her wholeness, radiance, and joy. To find out more, visit here. Without further adieu, let’s begin.
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Feminine Healing: Soul Detox: Healing from the 7 Vicious Emotions that Diminish a Woman’s Radiance.
Exploring the 7 Vicious Emotions that Eat Away at a Woman’s Soul
Exploring the 7 Vicious Emotions that erode a woman’s soul.
Envy/Jealousy
Envy is characterized by feelings of resentment, discontentment, and ill will towards another person because of their possessions, accomplishments, talents, or physical appearance.'
In a woman, feelings of envy can deteriorate her radiant soul, robbing her of her peace, smile, and sense of worth.
At its core, envy is a whisper of insecurity, a display of greed and ingratitude, and a ranting of dissatisfaction with what one already has in their life.
I often see how envy snakes its way into a woman’s heart. It usually begins with a harmless glance or thought, “Oh, I wish I was as ________ as her,” whether it be successful, happy, beautiful, attractive, famous, talented, happily married, etc.
Inherently, there is nothing wrong with wishing to have a certain trait, possession, or lifestyle that you notice in another's life. The problem arises when that natural desire becomes envy, love becomes hatred, and inner peace becomes unrest.
A woman should never allow envy or jealousy to take hold of her soul. When it does,
it dims the light within her. It chips away at her sense of worth and her unique individuality. It distorts her perception of herself and others while hindering genuine connections with friends and relatives.
In essence, a woman harboring envy becomes a bitter, discontent, and unrestful soul. Thankfully, I know many women who see another woman’s success, beauty, and happiness as inspiration to also experience the same, while embracing their unique beauty, gifts, and the distinct path that God has established for them.
This is what we should force our hearts to do when we see something in someone else’s life that we desire to have in our lives:
show love and support for that person's blessings and success, wish them all the best, and take snippets of the person's life that you admire the most as inspiration to make it also come true in your life. Most importantly, establish your worth in God, surrender, and allow Him to reign over and through your life.'
2. Resentment
Resentment is another life-crushing emotion that can severely impair a woman's benevolent soul.
Resentment is marked by feelings of anger, hatred, ill will, and unforgiveness towards someone because of the mistreatment, abuse, or unfairness done unto you by that person.
As I write this post, I recall the resentment I once held against a previous ex and a relative. I felt that my kindness, love, radiance, and innocence were taken advantage of and exploited by this man. In another circumstance, I was belittled, and abused by this close relative.
I remember vividly the implications of harboring anger had on my emotional and psychological well-being. My heart was consumed with emotions of defeat, shame, and unworthiness. My soul felt like it was losing its fiery march to a satisfying life. I wanted to just throw in the towel.
It took me close to a year to finally gain traction in forgiving these two persons who severely wounded me; and by the loving grace of God, I will soon overcome the last residues of anger towards them. The greatest blessing that came from facing these trials is that it drew me closer to God. It was during the turmoil within my family that compelled me to turn to Christ.
Not only should you learn how to forgive others who hurt you, but you should also learn how to forgive yourself.
The truth is becoming perfectly healed and whole from past wounds won’t happen overnight. It’s a process, requiring intentionality, compassion towards your heart, and most importantly, a surrender and release of your burden to God.
You too can begin to heal the wounds that resentment has inflicted upon your soul, restoring within you inner peace and allowing your spirit to flourish once more.
Feminine Healing: Soul Detox: Healing from the 7 Vicious Emotions that Diminish a Woman’s Radiance.
3. Depression
Depression, just as harboring envy and resentment, has the stealthy power to wear down a woman's vibrant soul.
When we talk about depression, we're describing someone who is suffering from persistent sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or passion in activities once enjoyed.
Depression is not make-believe or theory. It's real, alive, and consuming dreams, passions, and the radiance of women.
There are a variety of influences that can cause a once loving and high-spirited woman to become wounded and depressed. Some of these influences include childhood trauma (e.g., abuse, abandonment, lack of emotional bond with mother/father), financial difficulties, poverty, chronic illness, workplace discrimination, unfulfilled goals, being cheated on, being betrayed, becoming a single mother, or feeling insecure about your body, worth, and beauty.
Regardless of those unwelcoming events, whether big or small, that is stealing your joy and causing you to become restless and downhearted, I want you to deeply understand that you do not have to continue living in pain, shame, and misery. You can become fully healed, restored, and free. You can, at this very moment, begin to reclaim your soul from the clutches of depression.
4. Guilt/ Self-condemnation
Ashamed. Unworthy. Undeserving. Terrible. Disappointed. Regretful. Weak. These are just a few words describing how I felt two years ago while being entangled in an ungodly relationship that greatly dishonored my Lord. Of all the unwelcoming emotions I have experienced, guilt is the worst.
Guilt is an emotional experience characterized by feelings of shame, disappointment in oneself, responsibility, and remorse for having done something wrong that harms others or goes against one’s values and beliefs.
Guilt is a powerful predatory emotion because it can lead to experiencing other painful emotions such as resentment, depression, insecurity, anxiety, loneliness, and self-condemnation.
A woman’s beautiful laughter, hope, and zest to live a vibrant and fulfilling life can be severely compromised by the vicious reminders of self-blame, failures, the “what-ifs,” and “shouldn't haves.”
A woman suffering from self-condemnation finds it difficult to continue loving and cheering for herself. She internalizes the false beliefs that she is unworthy and forever broken. She erects walls around her heart, which isolates her from the warmth of God who graciously forgives and makes the broken-hearted whole.
I’ve been there. I know what it's like to suffer from past mistakes, some of which I knew were wrong and that I could have made a wiser choice. But that event is gone and cannot be undone. You and I are not perfect (only Christ is, Amen!). Mistakes are bound to happen in life. Nonetheless, you can learn from your mistakes and experiences and carve a better future.
You can choose to continue suffering in guilt, self-hate, bitterness, and self-pity, or you can take drastic measures today toward healing, forgiving, and restoring your heart.
If I hadn't gone through what I have been through in life, I wouldn't have the credibility or passion to speak on these worthy topics. When I surrendered to God’s reign over my soul and life, He began healing me, and I started loving myself (and all its imperfections) even more. God used my wounds to give me wisdom and foundation so I could help other wounded souls. He can also do great things through your stories.
5. Anxiety
Day after day, my soul would grapple with fears and worries, "Would I get married one day, before 30?", "Would I get start having my children young, before 30? "Will my dreams and goals for Queen Defined, becoming financially stable, living in a beautiful home, and living a remarkable life come to fruition?"
These constant worries at times keep me on edge, making my soul restless, and causing me to rush life; instead of keeping calm, while being intentional with a heart of complete surrender to God's perfect timing.
Anxiety is another soul-gripping emotion that women tend to suffer from.
Anxiety is signified by feelings of nervousness, fears, or worries, especially about those anticipated future events that one perceives to have less control over.
The effects of anxiety on a woman's life range from mild to severe. She can simply have mild concerns that don't significantly affect her day-to-day functioning. On the other hand, the fears and worries she's harboring can become so intense, persistent, and intrusive, affecting her physical health and overall quality of life.
Anxiety, when left unmanaged, can cause a woman to feel miserable and depressed. She may start believing that she is weak, incapable, hopeless, and unworthy of experiencing the lofty dreams and desires that once set her soul on fire. Yet, like other soul-eroding emotions that I talked about in previous points,
as daughters of the King, we have what it takes to overcome anxiety and embrace calm during stormy seasons.
So will I get married and have a family one day, before 30? Will I get to fulfill God's calling to help modern women via the Queen Defined platform? Will my passion to work creatively from home, and having the financial buffer to take care of my home, and aging parents come to fruition? Only God truly knows. All I know is that
many are the plans in a person's heart, but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails (Prov 19:21).
I have learned to overcome anxiety by placing my trust in God, my Designer who sees, knows, cares, loves, and directs. A King who says not to be anxious about anything, to pray about everything, and that we should trust in His perfect timing in making our dreams come alive (Phil 4:6-7, Prov 3:5-6, Jer 29:11).
6. Insecurities
Insecurity can dreadfully erode a woman's soul, causing her to constantly question her worthiness and place in this world.
Insecurity can simply be defined as being in a state of self-doubt or lack of confidence in one's worth, abilities, or relationships.
A woman who is wounded by insecurity can never be truly happy and at peace. This is because she continues to compare her beauty, achievements, or relationships with that of another woman; she continues to try and measure up to society's false definition of a true woman; or she continues to suffer from unhealed traumas that hold her soul captive. The implications these have on her emotional and mental well-being are profound and heartbreaking.
Somehow, she no longer thinks she's beautiful; she no longer believes she's worthy and deserving of true love and loyalty. She withdraws herself from social gatherings and avoids opportunities that would place her in the spotlight due to fear of being judged and rejected. Once, this zestful soul believed that she was special, gifted, and could do great things in this world, but now she settles for less than mediocrity.
The world tells us it is okay to feel insecure. Undeniably, insecurities regarding our body, worth, and abilities do visit us from time to time. However,
it is not okay when we intentionally (by doing nothing to overcome it) allow feelings of insecurities to inhabit and consume our precious individuality.
Every woman is unique, and special, and bears a path that God established exclusively for her.
7. Loneliness
Finally, the seventh vicious emotion that eats away at a woman’s soul is loneliness.
The definition of loneliness is simply feeling isolated, deserted, or disconnected from the love, warmth, and company of another person.
Many reasons could cause a woman to feel lonely. Among these include a breakup or divorce, relocating to a new city, becoming very busy with work and house affairs, or enduring the death of a loved one. Regardless of the reasons, loneliness hits all of us at various points in our lives.
As a Christian single, I know how it feels to long for love, warmth, and connection with the masculine. As of this post, I’m currently away from close friends and families back home (Jamaica). So I also know what it's like to miss having great experiences and joyful company with your close friends and families.
Feeling lonely speaks to our humanity and desire to love and be loved. But loneliness is not a curse.
I'm seeing far too many women who use loneliness as an excuse to compromise on godly and personal values and end up settling for less than they deserve. Feeling alone could be a beautiful season of your life.
As a Christian single, I have come to realize that no matter how fulfilling and satisfying my future marriage could be, no matter how many children I could have to laugh and tend to, no matter how many friends I have, or fans around the world raving my name,
I would still feel pretty lonely if I didn't have Jesus.
The greatest indication of a lonely soul is our need for spiritual intimacy with our Heavenly Designer. The more we nurture an intimate bond with God, the less lonely, empty, and more fulfilled we become.
7 Vicious Emotions that Diminish Feminine Radiance.
Soul Detox: A Workbook for Women to Heal the Feminine Soul
7 Viscous Emotions that Diminish Feminine Radiance. Feminine Healing
I want to take this time to introduce you to our upcoming workbook, called Soul Detox: A Workbook for Women to Heal the Feminine Soul
This transformative guide is designed to help you properly address and overcome the destructive emotional and mental consequences of past wounds and traumas.
Inside, you'll discover practical strategies and exercises to combat the harmful forces of envy, resentment, depression, guilt, anxiety, insecurities, and loneliness. Get on the waitlist today.
Together, as women of Christ, we can become fully healed, restored, and whole.
Ashaki Dixon
(with love and support)
